(The Cavalier did not write this. Then again, he didn’t write much of anything this week.)Dear Mr. World Famous Actor/ Movie Star Guy, aka “The Cavalier”,
Dear Sir, we at the Cleveland Professional Basketball Club have recently noticed your lack of emotion towards our franchise. While we regret our letter may have reached you too late, let us explain how your views are completely unmerited. We take deep concern over our fanbase here at Cavalier Headquarters and we want to ensure our fans are the happiest on Earth.
Did you know we have won 11 of our last 13 games? Did you know we are on a pace to win 46 games? Granted, that is not the 50 wins our franchise is used to, but Anderson Varejao was not with us for some time early this season. We hope you can see past that unfortunate circumstance.
We noticed in one of your last posts you featured a video of LeBron James making the last shot to win a playoff game against the Washington Wizards. Were you aware that we beat those same Wizards Wednesday night by a score of 121 to 85? Sir, that is a 36 point victory, easily one of, if not our best of the year. During this game we played offense (43 points in the 3rd quarter alone) and defense (17 points allowed in the same third quarter) to the best of our abilities.
Among your other points of contention with our franchise is the lack of motivation of our superstar and with our head coach. We believe these are not weaknesses, but are rather our strengths. LeBron James is once again having an MVP season and Coach Mike Brown has shown the ability to win basketball games with the talent at hand. Please understand, we know we are not perfect. We know we need a scoring point guard, for example. And the Larry Hughes signing, well, we like to pretend that didn’t happen. And so should you.
In closing, Mr. Cavalier, please give us another chance. We know you once enjoyed rooting for us. We know you stood in your driveway as a child and shot free-throws pretending to be Mark Price. We know you used to lower your adjustable backboard down to 7 feet so you could dunk like Larry Nance. We know the Cavaliers are in your blood. They are in your heart. They are in your name. So like Biggie said, give us one more chance.
Signed,
The Cavs
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